The. Bro. Code. Barney STinSon with MaTT Kuhn . may engage in a high five, fist bump, or Bro hug, but never a full embrace. ExECuTIng A bRo hug. Step 1. The Bro echecs16.info - Ebook download as PDF File .pdf) or read book online. The Bro Code. Uploaded by Jesús Andrades Ramirez. Copyright: Attribution Non -Commercial (BY-NC). Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd.
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BRO. C O D E. BARNEY STINSON with MATT KUHN. A Fireside Book. Published by Simon & Schuster. New York London Toronto Sydney. Views 22MB Size Report. DOWNLOAD PDF Der Bro Code (Das Buch zur TV-Serie ''How I met your Mother''). Read more. 3) If a bro gets a dog, it must be atleast as tall as his knee when full grown. Corollary to this 4) A bro never divulges the existence of the bro code to a woman.
Lately the show kinda sucks but Barney is still my favorite and he just kicks ass! For all of you fans out there: get it! Even though it was a short read… Now there were many epic moments throughout the book. If I could post them all I would actually copy paste all the book and done. Get ready to fall off your chair in…. And of course, being the math geek that I am, I loved the formulas! Why do I like formulas?!?!
No one cares. Article Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. Article When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.
Article Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches. Article Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it. Article Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though.
Article In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys. Article Men do not lie about their age.
Article A Bro should not swing his arms when he is walking. Article A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.
A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required.
Article No Bro should dye their hair Article A Bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud" Article A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with. Article A Bro should not "pop" his collar. Article A Bro should not speak more than two languages. Unless 1. He has lived for a minimum of 9 months in a country whose main language is one of those languages 2.
He uses the extra language as a means of picking up women who only speak that language 3. His job requires him to know more than 2 languages 4. It is a means of only to impress women and nothing else If in the occurrence that a Bro knows more than 2 languages, it is the given right for said bro to invite other bros to parties where this language is spoken, having said bro escort and be the official bilingual wingman.
Article A Bro should never say "it's to die for" Article A Bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat. Article A Bro should not wear an ascot.
Article A Bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower. Article A Bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw Article A Bro should never wear a blouse. Article If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.
Article A Bro should not wear crocs. Article A Bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes. Article A Bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders Article A Bro should not eat grapes from the vines Article A Bro should never rollerblade Article The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone Article If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
Article A Bro should never, ever wear capri pants. Article A Bro should not wear flip flops with a suit. Article No Bro should wear a speedo to the beach Article A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection. In the event that one Bro finds himself lacking the necessary prophylactic accoutrements needed to complete the act of coitus in a safe and effective manner, he is in the right to expect his Bro will use all measures within or without his means to provide the aforementioned prophylactic in a timely yet discreet fashion.
A Bro must patronize the most rapid method of transportation available while endeavoring to assist his Bro. However, any costs or damages incurred from the use of public transportation are the responsibility of the secondary Bro alone as this is an instance of Quid Pro Bro.
Upon arrival at the primary Bro's location, the secondary Bro must exercise complete discretion so as not to disrupt the primary Bro's "flow. Article No Bro should wear girl jeans Article A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has thrice confirmed it's cool.
Article One Bro makes a solo attack. Article A Bro shall honor thy father and mother Article In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way. Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth. America was built on the backs of men and women who were yelled at to work harder and the tradition has been screamed to generation from generation.
You can only scream beneath you. Corollary, it is probably better for everyone if bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other bros are coming over. When in doubt refer to the check list for bro-proofing your home.
Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying "she's smoking-hot, huh? Women make excellent bros because they can translate and navigate the confusing and contradictory whims that comprise the chick code Chick do have the chick code!!
This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped. The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts 83 days.
The relationship between man and his skin lasts a life time and must be nurtured because the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has. Corollary, a bro with a coat of fur on his back, keeps that thing covered at all times even at resort, pool or beach. Also despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors.
Honestly they're not that heavy. The reason is Bro-flation.
An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day, and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party. Exceptions — If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.
Reasons — a Cloth pockets are roomier and elastic allowing for a thicker wad of cash. See Article Not even in Europe.
Corollary — A bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged. Exceptions — Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking an expensive car and loading an expensive TV on to an expensive car. Paddy's Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year's Eve, and Desperation Day February 13th 55 Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.
However, to avoid Bro-flation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs.
If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs.
If they haven't downloadd drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Bro-tection forms a central pillar or, more accurately, a plastic coating for the central pillar of the Bro way of life. Some of which, such as children, can last an entire lifetime. Exception - A Bro is off the hook if a Bro orders a drink with an umbrella in it. Exception - Dry spell trumps hot streak.
He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro's trip or general well-being. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.
Chicks like to stretch the truth about their age, promiscuity and sometimes, with the help of extensive make-up and structural lingerie, even their body shape. As such, it is a fair game for Bros to exaggerate reality when asked about their Bro-fession.
To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between the Bro and his wingman, it is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand on the Bro code, raise his right hand, and recite the wingman pledge. The total age of all the three should be less than That's inhuman. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.
So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area.
A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost.