How to Argue and Win Every Time - Download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online. How to argue and win every time by Gerry Spence, , St. Martin's Press edition, in English - 1st ed. Download PDF How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday | PDF books Ebook Free Download Here.
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HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME. By Gerry Spence. Argument: The ' Hammer & Nails' with which he constructs winning cases. The greatest gift is the gift. Editorial Reviews. From Publishers Weekly. Lawyer Spence's guide to winning arguments HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME - Kindle edition by GERRY SPENCE. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or. Read How to Argue & Win Every Time PDF - At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday by Gerry Spence The Crossroad Publishing.
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Carnegie would be right if arguments were fights, which is how we often think of them. Like physical fights, verbal fights can leave both sides bloodied. Even when you win, you end up no better off. Your prospects would be almost as dismal if arguments were even just competitions — like, say, tennis tournaments. Pairs of opponents hit the ball back and forth until one victor emerges from all who entered.
Everybody else loses. This kind of thinking is why so many people try to avoid arguments, especially about politics and religion. These views of arguments also undermine reason. You will be happy to convince people with bad arguments. You can call their views crazy, stupid, silly or ridiculous, or you can joke about how ignorant they are, how short they are or how small their hands are. None of these tricks will help you understand them, their positions or the issues that divide you, but they can help you win — in one way.
There is a better way to win arguments. Imagine that you favor increasing the minimum wage in our state, and I do not. Neither of us learns anything, so we neither understand nor respect each other, and we have no basis for compromise or cooperation. In contrast, suppose you give a reasonable argument: that full-time workers should not have to live in poverty.
Then I counter with another reasonable argument: that a higher minimum wage will force businesses to employ less people for less time. What if, in the end, you convince me that we should increase the minimum wage because there are ways to do so without creating unemployment or underemployment? Submit Search. Successfully reported this slideshow. We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads.
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Start on. Show related SlideShares at end. WordPress Shortcode. Published in: Full Name Comment goes here. Are you sure you want to Yes No. Be the first to like this. Spence regrets misspent years as a parent who saw his children as pupils rather than as independent individuals. He learned from his wife that it's better to show your children respect.
If you want your children to respect you, show respect to them by giving them freedom to learn and fail, give them responsibilities, show them trust and watch them earn more. If you want to win the argument with your 16 year old, you have to star when he's 6.
If you love unconditionally, people are more willing to listen to your argument-- the argument can be won without words. The same principles apply at work. If you want respect from your boss, you must always demonstrate that you respect her. If asking for a raise, frame it in terms of the benefit to the company.
I found this to be a highly entertaining and personally helpful read. I recommend it. Jan 30, Scott is currently reading it. I am not a powerful person. Those I face are always more powerful than I. How can I win against them? The Key: All power, yours and theirs, is yours. Fear is our ally. Fear confirms us. Fear is energy that is convertible to power-our power. You have a power of your own that no one else can ever match. We have become focused not on how to identify our own uniqueness, but on how to mimic the mark and style of others.
We have been told that if we can look like others, we will be successful. My life has been dedicated to poking around in the outer reaches of myself. In the same way that the universe unfolds as it is explored, so does my own. No sooner do I arrive at some new, inner galaxy than I can see heretofore unimagined worlds that invite further exploring.
But the acceptance of external authority as my overriding authority blocks all discovery of the self. We have been locked in our closets by those who have sought not our love but our compliance, who have sought not our growth but our subservience. What is power? The power peculiar to each of us is that force that distinguishes each of us from all other beings.
Our power permits us to grow and to fulfill our potential. It is the surf, the swell, the wave, the storm we feel in our veins that propels us into action.
It is our creativity. It is our joy, our sorrow, our anger, our pain. This energy is our personhood-the extraordinary mix of traits and talents and experience that makes up the fingerprint of our souls. Titles are everything. No matter what I can logically says, a good title can still convince me to check them out, whether it is a movie, book, game, or illegal narcotics. Sounds like a brilliant book! I heard the title, and thought maybe it is a no bullshit sophist style book about the art of arguing, one of my favorite hobbies, and probably one of the Titles are everything.
I heard the title, and thought maybe it is a no bullshit sophist style book about the art of arguing, one of my favorite hobbies, and probably one of the qualities that turns people off the most.
The author, a high profile lawyer, writes like a shitty tree hugging hippy. Go to the forest or wilderness and…make sounds. Oh yeah, and a winning strategy for winning arguments is this. Do you give yourself permission to lose. Do not give yourself permission to lose. The book is more about trying to put Spencer in a good, friendly, peace-loving, environment-blowing, tree-cuddling light than anything even remotely to the promise of the title.
Mar 20, Marsha rated it really liked it. This is not a how-to book. Arguing is not a technique according to Spence. Instead, he has philosophies about the art of arguing. He shows that words do have power. He likes to tell stories to draw out his point in his arguments. He gives lots of examples and my favorite is when he relates them to his law practice experience. He said that arguing is about telling the truth and also giving your opponent respect.
He says also that sometimes losing is winning. For instance, in a marriage, you may w This is not a how-to book. For instance, in a marriage, you may win by not arguing.
You may suggest going out to dinner with your spouse even though you know you want to stay home and relax. Your wife thinks that it was very nice of you to want to go out to dinner with her, but she says that she is tired and prefers to stay home and that maybe another evening, you both can go out to eat. You agree, and you allow yourself to lose. However, really you win and get what you want which is to stay home and not go out to eat that evening. Gerry Spence has some interesting points of view and gives the reader a chance to re-look at things from a different perspective.
If you think this is a handbook on verbal Kung Fu against an opponent - you will be disappointed. Some of the chapters were more relevant than others for me, but enough to make it a worthy read. Especially the chapter on "how to win" against a Corporation, in short - you can't.
It's basically an a moral entity, and the larger it gets, the harder and less likely people are to do the right thing. Why If you think this is a handbook on verbal Kung Fu against an opponent - you will be disappointed.
Feb 27, Mohammadjavad Abbasi rated it liked it. Aug 20, Ahmed Zunair Cheema rated it liked it. Being a lawyer, I was looking for some new insights into the art of arguing that are more specific to my profession. But this book is more concerned with general nature of arguing in all spheres of life, including the court room.
Spence has laid great emphasis on show of emotions in one's arguments and he has also stressed the need of being honest and upright while arguing, thus he's an 'Anti-Machiavellian' sort of person and that reflects throughout his book.
View all 4 comments. Jun 10, Marcia rated it really liked it.
Exactly that - speak from the inner child. Jan 02, Adrial rated it it was amazing. Amazing book that I read immediately after reading The Power of Now years ago. The parallels between the two books in terms of spirituality were so interesting to me. Apr 01, Mike rated it it was amazing. Words to live by. A great book for anyone who is passionate about what they believe in and is looking for a way to fight for those ideals.
Feb 10, Carolina Liechtenstein rated it really liked it Shelves: Essential information on freedom and self ownership. This book outlines how it is ourselves that provide ourselves security.
This book would far greater, and much easier to read, if Spence cut out most of the stories. But he is indeed a fan of stories. His other books are better and very important reading on the importance of liberty and freedom.
May 15, Joe rated it it was amazing. I really thought I would love this book, but I actually hated some parts. Likewise I both respected the author and at times hated him. Openly identify the weaknesses in your argument upfront so that they are not darkly revealed by your I really thought I would love this book, but I actually hated some parts. Openly identify the weaknesses in your argument upfront so that they are not darkly revealed by your opponent as though you have been lying or covering up the truth.
They will have a lot less impact if you real these yourself and may even help you. Make it clear to the judge or jury that they have all the power, the power to decide and explain what the impact of that decision will be on the life of your client.
Go outside in a park, take off your shoes and walk in nature, shout loudly and start singing…. Some advice I thought was excellent: I want to know about your pain. I want to know about it before it injures us more. What kind of crap are you reading now? Press on. I do not want you to hurt. I do not want you to have pain. I need to know way you are hurting.
I want you to tell me so I can do something about it. I want to do something about it because I love you. Will you please tell me? Go pick up this book, turn to this page—you marked it, remember?
Now begin reading anew.
You are not ready to deal with your anger yet. Do nothing yet. Say nothing. Now say to the other, without anger, quietly: It is not easy to do. If, however, whenever you recognize that you are angry you will get into the habit of stopping, and following the above exercise, you will eventually become skilled at dealing with your anger in a constructive, loving way that will enrich the relationship rather than wound or destroy it.
Another contender for longest on the shelf before reading.
I got this book when I was a senior in high school in because I saw Spence on TV and I thought I was going to be a political science major and then go into law or diplomacy or something, so I got the book. But I studied history and theater. And through every move since, and there have been many, I have held on to the book, thinking that it would be a real shame to have downloadd the book and then to get rid of it before reading it.
Eventually, I would read it and then argue and win every time.